SasoDei Beauty and the Beast
by AkatsukiMemberWoolfy
Summary: Deidara was just a normal, weird, boy, but all that changes when he is held prisoner by a monstrous Beast. But will Sasori and Deidara manage to fall in love against all odds? And what about that girl Sakura who wants Deidara all to herself? Disney based.
1. Part One

**SasoDei - Beauty and the Beast**

**Part One**

Once upon a time, in a far away land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired the prince was spoiled, selfish and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose, in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered the gift and turned the old woman away. But she warned him "Not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within", and when he dismissed her again the old woman's ugliness melted away, to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize but it was too late for she had seen that there was no love in his heart. As punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast and placed a powerful spell on the castle and all who lived there.

Ashamed of his monstrous form the beast concealed himself inside his castle with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his twenty-first year. If he could learn to love, and earn their love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years past, he fell into despair, and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?

-x-

The blonde gave a sigh and he walked through his village, on his way to the bookstore to borrow out a new book. His name was Deidara, and he was sought by men and woman alike for his looks. As he walked through the streets, villagers called out 'Bonjour', waving at him happily. He smiled and would grudgingly return their greetings politely. Deidara stopped to say hello to the baker, Naruto. "Bonjour, Naruto. How's business, un?"

Naruto turned to him, and gave the blonde a wide grin. "Well, bonjour Deidara. It is nice to see you. Business is booming! Believe it!" Deidara gave a nod. "So, where are you off to?"

"Oh," Deidara waved the green book at the blond baker, "I need a new book to read. This one was alright; it was about magic beans and giants." They both said goodbye, and Deidara was once more on his way to the store.

Eventually, he made it, greeting the old book seller politely. "Bonjour, monsieur." Deidara smiled at him as he turned around.

The old man gave him a smirk. "Bonjour, Deidara." The book seller was named Jiriya, and had once been a famous author. He was also a bit of a pervert, but that meant that he would always give Deidara a discount, so the blonde really couldn't complain. "How was the reading?"

"It was really good, un. Interesting." He handed the man the green book, and climbed up one of the store ladders, browsing along the shelf. "I think I'll borrow…This one." The blonde pulled a dark blue book from the shelf and showed it to the man.

"Oh, Sleeping Paradise? That's one that I wrote!" Jiriya laughed a haughty chuckle. "But you've already read it twice."

Deidara shrugged. "Yeah, but it's my favourite. It puts a weird twist on the Sleeping Beauty fairytale, un…A weird…Sexual twist…But I guess that it's kind of epic."

"Well, in that case, it's all yours. Free of charge." Jiriya winked at the blonde.

"Really? Awesome, thanks so much, un."

"Have fun now." Deidara nodded and left the store, beginning to read the book for the third time as he walked, dodging other people as he went.

Everyone of the village admitted that, while Deidara was the most beautiful person each had ever seen, he was also one of the most odd.

However, there was one whom wanted the blonde more than anything else. "I'll have him if it's the last thing I do! CHA!" The pinkette threw her fist into the air aggressively. This certain girl's name was Sakura Whoreuno…Sorry, 'Haruno'…Yes, anyway…The girl was the most useless- I mean determined in the entire village. She wanted Deidara.

"Like, OMG! You're so cool, Sakura!" That was the pinkette's crony, a girl by the name of Ino, who was just as obsessive as Sakura. She had long blonde hair, but it was no where near as beautiful as Deidara's golden locks. Ino, however, wore her hair in a similar way to the blonde, but didn't get even half as much attention.

The sane villagers tended to avoid the duo, least they lose their own minds. They also had a habit of bursting out into song, which would cause the villagers to be put under a spell, causing them to sing as well.

-x-

Deidara was almost home, when he was stopped by an irritating, familiar voice. "DEIDARA! WAIT UP!" The blonde cursed under his breath and turned around to see Sakura running over to him.

He smiled at her politely, hiding his displeasure. "Bonjour Madame, nice to see you, un."

The pinkette noticed the book, and gave a disgusted look. "Why are you _reading_?" She took the novel from the blonde and tossed it carelessly into a puddle of mud. Deidara quickly grabbed it, trying to clean it. The book appeared to be all right. "I mean, come on! You have more important things to do besides reading. It might cause you to get ideas, and start _thinking_!" She gave a prideful hum. "You should be out hunting, like all the other boys."

Deidara forced himself not to sneer. Stupid girl. "I would rather stay at home to help my dad."

"Oh," the blonde wasn't the least bit surprised when Ino popped up out of no where, "Onoki is a complete lunatic!" Both Sakura and Ino began to laugh.

Deidara glared at them, holding his book to his chest. "Hey! My Dad might be crazy, but he isn't a lunatic!"

Sakura stopped laughing and hit Ino on the head. "Yeah! His dad isn't a lunatic!"

Deidara suddenly heard an explosion go off, turning to see that it came from his house. "Oh dammit!" The blonde quickly forgot about the Idiot Duo and began running home. He got there in no time, opening the door to the cellar, where smoke was curling up out of. The blonde went down the stairs to hear his father screaming abuse.

"I'VE HAD IT! I GIVE UP!" The man threw a wrench at the ground.

Deidara gave a sigh and picked up the tool, offering it to the old man. "Of course you won't. You'll complete it, go to the fair tomorrow, and become a famous inventor...Or complete it, go to the fair, lose and then blame it on me…Either way you'll finish it, un."

Onoki frowned at the blonde, and then snatched the wrench back from Deidara. "Of course!" The old man went back to tinkering with the machine he was working on. "Make yourself useful and grab me a rock from outside!"

Deidara rolled his eyes and climbed back up the steps, grabbing one of the large stones which were piled next to the door. He easily managed to carry it into the cellar, placing it onto the large red cross on the floor. The blonde took a cautionary step back as Onoki pulled down on the lever, activating the machine. The chain reaction eventually caused the large hammer on it to swing downwards at the rock. The stone shattered on collision, and the hammer moved back up as the machine finished.

"SUCCESS!" The old man began to jump happily in the air. Two jumps later and he began to complain about his back and hips aching.

"…Dad…" Deidara coughed into his fist. "…" The blonde suddenly gave a wide grin, clapping his hands together. "THAT'S THE BEST CONTRAPTION EVER! YOU'RE SO COOL! THE WAY THE ROCK EXPLODED, UN!"

…Deidara had a thing for explosions…He called them 'Art'.

"Whoa, settle down, boy!" the man laughed loudly. "I guess that now I know that it works, I should be on my way to the fair. Make yourself useful and help me load this into the cart."

-x-

Deidara waved goodbye to his father and their horse, which was called Sai. "Have a safe trip! Don't go into any creepy looking castles, un!"

"MAKE ME!" the old man gave a loud laugh as he, Sai and the cart carrying his invention disappeared into the woods.

"…" Deidara face-palmed. "The famous last words…Now where did I put that book, un…?"

-x-

Onoki had been gone since yesterday, but the fair did last for three days, so Deidara wasn't worried in the least. Well, of his father any way...

A knock emanated from the door, and the blonde raised an eyebrow. Who could that be? He opened the door to see a certain annoying pinkette standing there. Before the blonde could even open his mouth, she barged in.

"BONJOUR DEIDARA!" She gave him a wide, satanic grin.

Deidara blinked, sweat-dropping at the same time. "…Bonjour Sakura…"

"So, Deidara…I have a 'proposal' for you." She gave a cackle at the pun. "Anyway, picture this. A rustic hunting lodge, your latest kill roasting over the fire. Your little wife massaging your feet. While the little ones play on the floor with the dogs…Oh, we'll have 6 or 7!"

Deidara swallowed. "…Dogs, un?"

"No, Dei!" She gave a cackle. "Beautiful girls! Like me!"

"…Imagine that…" Deidara hid his distaste. What the hell was this girl talking about?

Sakura sat on one of the chairs, feet on the table. "So Dei, will you marry me? Is it yes? Or is it…_Oh_ Yes?"

"…I…" Deidara was shocked. "I just don't…_deserve_ you…"

Sakura laughed. "Who does?" She grinned wide at him. Deidara sweat-dropped once more.

"…I'm sorry, but we're just too different…I mean, you're a girl…and I'm a guy…"

"…WHAT?" She got to her feet and marched over to the blonde. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A BOY AND A GIRL!"

"…Thanks for the offer, but…" Deidara backed up against the door. He turned the handle slowly, suddenly opening it. He grabbed the pinkette with one hand and tossed her out of the cabin and into a pool of mud. "But I like men. Bye, un!" Deidara slammed the door, locking it quickly. He gave a relieved sigh. "That was close."

Deidara waited a few minutes, before picking up the basket to feed the animals. He cautiously opened the door. "Is she gone?" no sign of her. He sighed. "God, can you imagine?" He rolled his eyes at the animals as he walked down the stairs and into the small fenced off area, throwing seed for the creatures. "She asked me to marry her!" He sung in a high, mocking voice. "Madame Iwa, can't you just see it? Madame Iwa, my little wife?" Deidara gave a gagging motion and stopped singing. "Oh please, I want much more than this provincial life! I want adventure!" He chucked the bucket down onto the floor, and walked out of the fenced off area. The blonde sat down in the field of dandelions which sat behind his house. "Like hell. I don't want to marry any girl, let alone that fat vache!" He closed his eyes and began to imagine himself in some far off fairytale. Twirling around a room with the man of his dreams…

Deidara was brought out of his dream when he suddenly heard a loud neigh, and he turned his head to see his horse, Sai, running out of the woods. The cart and machine were still following behind him, but the blonde's father was no where in sight. Deidara quickly stood up as Sai ran to him, giving another neigh.

"What's wrong? Where's dad, un?" The white horse shook its head and Deidara quickly unclipped the cart, hopping onto the horse's back.

Sai reared onto his back legs. "He went into a creepy looking castle." Yeah, animals talked.

"…Of course why did I even bother asking…Whatever, come on Sai, lead the way." The horse nodded and began running the way it had come.

As the narrator, while they are on their way to the castle, I shall use this space here to describe how Deidara looked as all I've really said about him is that he is a blonde. He had effeminate features, such as a slim jaw line, a very slim waist, a flawless complexion, and a pair of bright azure eyes. His left, however, was hidden beneath a bang of golden hair. His locks were long, and he kept some of his hair tied up in a messy, high ponytail. He always wore a bright blue dress and a white apron…When he was young his mother had always wanted a girl and had treated him like one until she died when he was five. His father had continued to raise him to be effeminate, wanting to respect the wishes of his wife.

The white horse suddenly stopped as they reached a large pair of iron doors. "This is it, Deidara."

The blonde nodded and hopped off of the horse, raising an eyebrow up at the castle beyond the doors. "…_Definitely_ creepy, un." He sighed and pushed the gates open, finding his father's yellow hair ribbon lying on the path. Deidara picked it up and tied it around his wrist.

"Hey! Don't leave me out here with the wolves!" The blonde looked back at Sai, and gave a…sigh…He walked over to the gates, holding one open for the horse. Sai trotted in and Deidara closed the iron door. "But I'm staying out here. You're on your own."

"Whatever, un." Deidara turned and began walking towards the castle. "Why is it always a creepy castle? Why can't it ever be a Castle on a Cloud?"

"DON'T MAKE A LES MISERABLE REFERENCE!" Deidara turned to glare at Sai, and then turned back as he walked across the long stone bridge.

"I was referring to Jack and the Beanstalk…But whatever, un."

Deidara looked up at the castle once more. Lightening flashed in the background threateningly. It was a dark and monstrous looking place. An enormous gargoyle sat on the very top of the castle, its wings outstretched and lined with what could have been studs. The blonde gulped, but finished walking across the stone bridge, starting to ascend the stone steps towards whatever demons might lurk in a place as evil as this one.


	2. Part 2

**SasoDei – Beauty and the Beast**

**Part 2**

Deidara pushed open the giant wooden door, entering the large dark fortress. Gargoyles and other stone creatures seemed to watch each move he made with their solid, yet fierce, eyes. "Gee…I wonder who lives here…Maybe if I wander around aimlessly I'll somehow find my way to wherever my father is…" Deidara gave a sigh and started up the flight of stairs. "Hello? Anyone here, un?" The blonde looked around, grabbing hold of a silver candleholder which was burning brightly. "Dad! Where are you, un?"

"DEIDARA? ABOUT TIME YOU COME TO RESCUE ME!" The blonde rolled his eyes and followed the sound of the voice. Deidara emerged in a cold, dark, dungeon.

"…This is so cliché, I bet that some old witch lives here or some undead knight…" The blonde placed the silver candleholder on the floor next to the cell. "You in there, Dad?"

"DAMN WELL I'M IN HERE! NOW GET ME OUT!" The door rattled as Onoki kicked against it. "OW! MY BACK!" Deidara gave a sigh, trying to think of a way to get him out of their.

"Maybe I could use that candle to burn the door down…" Deidara frowned at the silver candleholder. "Na, that would take too long…Well, I guess you're stuck in there forever, Dad, un." There was a shriek of rage from behind the door. "Chill, Onoki, I'm just messing." Deidara stood up. "I'll go home, get the axe, and then come back here. Be right-"

There was a loud crash next to him and Deidara jumped to the right in fright, looking to his left. A flash of metal retreated into the darkness, out of the blonde's sight. What the hell was that?

"Leave now." Deidara blinked as he saw a large shadow looming in the darkness. He was unable to make out what it was, but its voice was very deep and raspy.

"Okay, don't have to tell me twice, un." Deidara waved his hands in submission. "I'll just take my father and we'll be out of your hair…Or fur…Or whatever it is you have considering I can't see you…" The blonde's eyes widened slightly as something sharp and shiny was pointed threatening at his neck. It was the thing from before. "Is that a scorpion tail, un?" The blonde took hold of the metal weapon, moving it away from his neck and beginning to examine it. "That's so cool!" The tail flicked out of his hands, back into the darkness.

"You've got some nerve, princess, but that won't be enough to save your father. You see, he is my prisoner, and I'd rather he rot in there than leave me." Deidara opened his mouth to tell the creature that he was actually a boy, but he was shut up as the cold scorpion tail caressed his cheek dangerously. "But why don't we make a trade? You stay here with me forever, and your father may go."

Deidara frowned, trying to think of what to do. "YEAH! LET'S DO THAT! YOU HAVE MY 'DAUGHTER' AND LET ME GO!" The blonde glared at the door. Gee, thanks Dad.

Deidara looked back at the figure. "…Can you step into the light?" The scorpion tail disappeared into the dark again, as the shadow took an almost hesitant step forward. The light from the silver candlestick holder's candles shone upon the creature's frightening form. Deidara's eyes widened as a Beast was revealed. It had a pair of cold, bloodshot eyes, and weird spikes coming out of the top of its head like furry horns. The Beast walked on four legs, each ending in ghastly brown animal paws. It wore a normal pair of clothes, though somewhat tattered at the hems. It also wore a long, billowing black cape which was patterned with red and white clouds. Behind the Beast arched the scorpion tail threateningly. The lower half of the creature's face was hidden by a coarse black bandana, and its body was covered in a layer of long brown fur. Deidara blinked at it. "Well, I wasn't expecting a Beast, un. Consider myself surprised." The blonde grinned at the creature, holding a hand out. "My name is Deidara. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, monsieur, and I must say what a dashing castle you own."

"Cut it out, Brat, I don't care what your name is. You're my prisoner now." Deidara clicked his fingers in dismay, giving a slight curse under his breath. The beast's tail flew forward, crashing against the door (which turned out to have actually been unlocked anyway). It swung open, revealing the figure of Onoki from behind. The creature grabbed the old man, and pushed the blonde into the cell instead, locking it behind him. The creature ran through the castle with the old man, racing out the front. Sai quickly hid from the Beast behind a gargoyle statue. It threw Onoki into the old carriage, slamming the door behind him. "Take this old man to the village!" The carriage shuddered, going onto its wheel-less legs and began walking towards the wanted destination. The Beast turned and walked back inside his castle.

"Hey, Beastie, why don't you fucking offer our guest a nicer room?" The creature looked to his left, to see his two most loyal servants running towards him. The silver candleholder and a clock, better known as Hidan and Itachi respectively. They reached their master and halted.

"I personally agree with Hidan, Sire." The clock rubbed its tired eyes, giving a yawn. "Considering that they will be staying with us for a fairly long time." Itachi looked over at Hidan, who gave a nod so vigorous that it put out his head candle's flame.

"…Very well." The Beast started up the steps, taking hold of the candleholder to guide his way through the dark.

-x-

Deidara looked around as the door unexpectedly opened. "Huh?" The Beast stood in the doorway. The blonde grinned at him. "Hello Mr Beast. I must say that this dungeon is very roomy and comfortable. Cheers on keeping it so clean, I mean just look at those magnificent cobwebs. So beautiful, un~"

"Would you like to continue being sarcastic, or would you rather have a nicer room, Brat? You're already getting on my nerves, and you haven't even been here five minutes." Deidara grinned at the Beast.

"Awww, you've been counting how long I've been here? That's so sweet, un~" The creature snarled and slammed the door. "Hey!" Deidara stood up and ran over to the door, pawing at it primitively. "I was just kidding! Take a joke why don't you, un?" There was silence from behind the door, but slowly creaked open again. "Thank you~"

Deidara put his hands behind his head in a carefree act and began to follow behind the Beast. They walked in silence, until the candlestick could barely take it anymore. "Psst, Beastie, say something for fucking Jashin's sake!"

The creature frowned and gave a cough. "So, your name is Deidara? I would expect a name like 'Belle' or something cliché like that."

"I hate to break this to you, un, but I'm actually a guy." The Beast suddenly stopped, causing the blonde to halt as well.

"What did you just say?" He turned around, shooting Deidara a deathly glare. The boy gave a shrug and a yawn.

"I thought that my voice might give it away…But apparently not." The blonde grinned at the creature. "So do you have a name, un?"

The Beast scowled at him, giving a growl. "What do you MEAN you're a guy?" In answer, the blonde patted his chest to show that he had no breasts. The Beast gave a louder snarl, looking away from Deidara. "Well that's just swell…A cross-dresser…"

"I'm still not hearing a name, un, Mr Beast." The blonde looked around as they began to walk again. Gargoyles, monsters, dragons, beasts, wolves, every vicious creature Deidara had ever read about was set in stone around him.

"My name, Brat?" The Beast gave a snort as they walked up and pair of steps. "It's Sasori."

"M'kay, nice to meet you, Sasori." They continued in silence, until they reached a large set of white doors.

"This is your room." Sasori opened the door for the blonde. Deidara walked inside the room, taking a look around. "The palace is now your home. You're free to go anywhere, just stay away from the West Wing."

Deidara turned, raising an eyebrow at the Beast. "What's in the West Wing, un?"

"IT'S FORBIDDEN!" The blonde saw the gleam of silver fangs as the bandana fluttered upwards for a second at the outburst. Sasori gave a vicious growl, looking away from Deidara. "You will join me for dinner…" He looked back at the blonde, glaring hard. "THAT WASN'T A REQUEST!"

The door was slammed and Deidara walked over to the large bed, sitting down on the soft fabric. "Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the pet-bed, un." He gave a sigh and flopped down onto his back. "…Now I have to live here alone with a Beast, life is just fucking swell…" There came a soft tap at his door. "What is it now, un?" He sat up as the door opened.

A tray wheeled into the room of its own accord, halting in front of the blonde. On the surface of it sat a white teapot with a blue lip, and a small blue teacup. Much to Deidara's shock, the pot and cup had faces on them. "Hello, Dei-Chan!" The blonde stared as the pot talked. "My name is Konan, and-"

"GAH!" Deidara abruptly got to his feet, stumbling away from the talking inanimate objects. He crashed against the wardrobe, which gave a cry at being hit.

"Owww!" The wardrobe shook itself, and Deidara noticed for the first time that at the top of it sat a face. It only had one eye, however, on the right side of its countenance. "What was that for, Sempai? Tobi didn't do anything wrong!"

Deidara blinked at the wardrobe, looked back at the porcelain glasses, and then back at wardrobe. "…Okay, un, I'm ready to go back into the dungeon. Au Revoir~" The blonde made a move to go to the door, but was stopped by the tea pot.

"Stop, Dear, there is nothing to be afraid of." The pot gave him a sweet porcelain smile. "Now take a seat, Dei-Chan, and we'll serve you a nice glass of tea." The blonde gave a slow nod and sat down, partly traumatized. "As I was saying, my name is Konan. This here," she(?) pointed her spout at the teacup next to her, "is Kisame, and that's," the pot pointed to the wardrobe, "Tobi."

"Hello Sempai!" The wardrobe waved at the blonde using one of its drawers. "Tobi is a Good Boy!"

"…" Deidara frowned. "Don't you mean 'Tobi is a Good Wardrobe', un?"

There was suddenly silence in the room. "…Tobi…Tobi is a Good…" Much to Deidara's shock, the closet began to heavily cry. "BUT TOBI WANTS TO BE A GOOD BOY!"

The blonde blinked in shock and quickly waved his hands at the wardrobe. "Wait, un! I was only kidding! Tobi is a Good Boy; Tobi is a VERY Good BOY!" A few seconds went by and the closet abruptly stopped crying, giving a sniffle. "Phew…" Deidara picked up the blue teacup which was now full of tea, frowning at it. "…I'm thirsty…You don't mind if I…"

The cup grinned up at him from its small face. "Go right ahead! I'm a cup, what else are you supposed to do?" Deidara gave a slight shrug and took a sip of the drink. The cup laughed. "Careful! You're tickling me!" The blonde finished off the tea, suddenly feeling calmer. He placed the cup back down on the tray, giving a slight sigh.

"Thank you, Konan and Kisame…" The blonde gave them a polite smile. "You've really cheered me up, un."

"Oh! Oh, Sempai! What's Sempai going to wear to dinner? Can Tobi help decide?" The wardrobe opened up it's door. Somehow he(?) managed to pull a dress out of it using the corner of his right door, holding it out to the blonde. "Here you go, Sempai!"

Deidara gave a sigh, pushing the dress away from him. "Look, un…I'm not going to Dinner…" They all stared at him as if he were crazy. "What? I mean, come on? What is the worst that he could do if I reject him? Kill me? He would be doing me a favour. I'd rather be dead than live here…Ah…No offence, un…" He gave them a sheepish grin.

There was suddenly a coughing noise at the door, and they all looked to see a clock standing there. It coughed into its gold handle/hand(?), giving a slight bow. "Dinner is served."

-x-

Sasori was pacing by the fireplace, angered at how late the damn Brat was. "This is completely ridiculous! What is taking him so long?"

Hidan gave a shrug. "Just calm down, Beastie, I'm sure that Blondie will arrive soon…Have you thought that maybe he will be the one to break the spell?"

The Beast gave a sneering growl, stopping his endless pace to glare at the candleholder. "Of course I have! But that was before I realised that he wasn't a girl. There is as much chance that I will fall for a boy, than that he will fall for a Beast!"

Hidan laughed. "Then I guess that is a good thing! Besides, that Enchantress never specified what gender this other person had to be, so it's all a'okay!" He grinned wide and blew out his left candle. "Besides, what is the difference anyway? It's not like you're going to get any anyway in that form. Fall for the blonde, break the spell, and then ditch him for some bimbo with huge breasts!"

Sasori opened his mouth to counter, but was silenced when the door creaked open. Both Hidan and the Beast looked over to see Itachi standing there…Alone. "Sire…There is a slight problem…"


	3. Part Three

**SasoDei – Beauty and the Beast**

**Part Three**

"He WHAT?" Sasori gave a roar and began running on all four paws towards the blonde's room. The candleholder and clock sprinted after him, trying to catch up. They finally managed to reach him after he had stopped at the door, rapping on the wood harshly. "Why won't you join me for dinner?"

"I'M NOT HUNGRY, UN! YOUR LOOKS HAVE CAUSED ME TO LOSE MY APPETITE!" Sasori was taken aback, but then gave a furious roar.

"THEN I'LL JUST TEAR THIS DOOR DOWN!" He made a move to grab the door, but was stopped by Hidan and Itachi.

"Wait Beastie!" The candlestick waved his two arms frantically for attention. "You ain't gonna win Blondie's heart like that! Come on, be polite!"

Sasori gave a growl and lowered his voice. "It would be an honour…" He resisted the urge to grit his teeth together. "If you were to join me for Dinner…"

"I'M NOT COMING OUT, UN!"

"WELL THEN I'LL-" He was stopped with a look from Hidan and Itachi.

The clock gave a yawn, patting his mouth gently. "Be a bit more suave, Sire, and I assure you that you will be more likely to gain results."

Sasori pointed to the door, rather childishly. "BUT HE'S BEING DIFFICULT!" There was silence, filled only with looks between the three of them. Sasori gave a sigh. "Would you kindly join me for Dinner…" Hidan gave a cough, and the Beast gave another annoyed sigh. "…Please…?"

"Well, when you put it that way…NO!"

Sasori roared in rage at the continual refusal. "THEN STAY IN THERE AND STARVE!" The Beast turned to his two most loyal servants. "Make sure that he doesn't come out of that room! He either eats with me, or not at all!" Sasori gave a snort and stormed off.

Itachi gave a sigh, rubbing his tired eyes. "Hidan, keep an eye on the door. Don't go off and mess around with that duster again."

The candleholder mumbled a few curses but gave a grudging nod. "Fucking fine then, whatever."

-x-

Sasori closed the door to his own room behind him, giving a sigh. He walked forward to the pedestal where his precious rose sat and grabbed his magic mirror. "Show me the blonde!"

The image buzzed and changed. Now it showed a picture of Deidara talking to Tobi and Konan. "Sasori Sempai isn't so bad once you get to know him, Deidara Sempai…"

The blonde gave a sigh and lay back on the bed, hands behind his head. "Well I don't want to get to know him, un!"

Sasori gave a sigh and placed the mirror back down. "Stupid fucking Brat…"

-x-

Sakura gave a growl, tugging at her hair in fury. "Who does he think he is? That guy's tangled with the wrong girl!"

Ino popped up out of no where, holding two flasks of rice wine known as sake. "Damn Right!"

Sakura grabbed them from the blonde, chugging them down quickly. "No one says 'No' to me! Dismissed? Rejected? Publicly humiliated! For God's sake!"

Ino took the flasks from the pinkette. "More sake?"

Sakura smacked the glasses out of the blonde's hands. "What for? Nothing helps! I'm…Disgraced!" All of the nearby villagers gasped in shock.

Ino gaped at the girl. "Who, you? Never! Sakura, you've gotta pull yourself together!" She coughed to clear her throat and began to sing. "Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Sakura, looking so down out and blue, everyone here'd love to be you, Sakura, even when you've had one t'few! There's no one here in town as bossy as you, you're everyone's least-favourite gal! Everyone's scared and petrified by you," she spun the pinkette's bear chair around, "and it's not that hard to see how!" The surrounding villagers found themselves unable to bear the urge to join in the song.

They lifted up Ino as they sung as well. "No one's got obsession like Sakura, spreads more depression than Sakura, no one's chest's as incredibly thick as Sakura's. For there's no man in town half as manly, perfect, a person who should be unemployed. You can ask any Hinata, TenTen or Woolfy, and they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to avoid!" Sakura frowned in suspicion and amusement. "No one likes you Sakura, wants to be around you Sakura, no one's got a giant forehead like you Sakura!"

The girl smirked, running a hand through her hair. "As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!"

All of the villagers began to clack their beers together. "My what a freak, that Sakura!" They all put their glasses down and cheered. "No one fights like Sakura, creates fright like Sakura," Ino popped her head in, "in a beauty pageant nobody BITES like Sakura! No one is as burly and deformed."

Sakura stood up, still smirking. "As you can see I've got biceps to spare! I get applause if I've performed, and every last inch of me is covered in hair!" She pulled her shirt open, which caused several of the bar patrons to scream and vomit. "When I was a gal I ate four dozen eggs, every morning to help me get large, and now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a slug!"

"My what a freak, that Sakura!" Those who had yet to puke continued to sing. "No one spooks like Sakura, makes em puke like Sakura, then goes tromping around wearing boots like Sakura!"

The pinkette laughed and flexed her arms. "I use the colour pink in all of my decorating!"

"My what a freak," the audience cheered, "Sakura!"

They all laughed and then snuck away from the duo, not wanting to do anything else stupid. Sakura and Ino laughed, the pinkette buttoning up her shirt. "Well that was fun."

The door to the tavern suddenly slammed open as Onoki ran inside. "EVERYONE! I NEED YOUR HELP! MY HAIR RIBBON HAS BEEN TAKEN BY A BEAST! And less importantly, so has my son…BUT MY RIBBON!" The customers burst out laughing. "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?" The people began to mock the old man as Sakura and Ino watched with interest. Eventually, Onoki stormed out of the pub, looking for help elsewhere.

"Crazy old, Onoki…" Sakura sat back down in the bear chair, giving a hum. "Crazy old Onoki…Ino, I'm afraid I've been thinking…" She sung.

Ino sat on the floor. "A dangerous past time!"

Sakura battered a hand, "I know. But that crazy old man is Dei's father, and his sanity is only so-so." She gave a sinister shrug. "Now the wheels in my head have been turning, as I looked at that Looney old man, you see I made a vow I'd be married to Dei, and now I am forming a plan!" Sakura stood up and grabbed onto Ino, pulling her to her feet. She began to whisper in the blonde's ear. Ino gave loud reactions every few seconds, which caused a few to look their way.

"Let's go!" They began to dance around the room, singing in unison. "No one plots like Sakura, takes cheap shots like Sakura, wants to persecute harmless crackpots like Sakura."

"Yes I'm endlessly, wildly frightful, down to the depths of descend, I won't be least bit remorseful,"

Ino smirked back at her as they spun in circles stupidly, "as long as you get what you want in the end!"

The villagers made way for the spinning duo, not wanting to get in their way as they sung in unison. "Who has playtimes like Sakura, who hates mimes like Sakura, who can make up these endlessly bad rhymes like Sakura? And her marriage we soon will be celebrating, WOW, WHAT A GAL! SAKURA!~"

-x-

"Oh, Kakuzu~" Hidan chuckled as the feather duster walked past him, shooting the candleholder a glare.

"Leave me alone, Idiot. I'm busy." Kakuzu disappeared down the hall, and Hidan was about to follow after him when he heard the door behind him open.

The candleholder stood at attention to the blonde, but was completely ignored. Deidara walked around Hidan, heading in the direction of the kitchen. "I feel rebellious, un." He opened a door. A few knick knacks were moving around, but turned to look at him. Deidara recognised Konan, Kisame, and the clock from before. "Bonjour…I'm a little hungry…"

"Why bonjour, monsieur." The clock walked forward, holding his handle out to shake. "Let me introduce myself. My name is Itachi Uchiha." Deidara smiled, bending down to shake hands with the clock. "So you are hungry? Very well, a crust of bread, a glass of water and then back to bed."

Konan gave a "Hmph" and jumped over to them. "Don't be silly, he is our guest not our prisoner. We're not going to let the poor boy starve. Now you go take a seat in the dinning room, we'll be out in a jiffy."

"Oi Oi Oi! Don't forget about me!" The candleholder took the blonde's hand, putting out his candles so as not to burn him. "Yo, Blondie! The name is Hidan! Nice to fucking meet you!" He grinned up at Deidara. "Sorry that Beastie has such a bad temper." The blonde opened his mouth to reply, but Hidan had already started to lead him to the dinning room. "Right this fucking way, Blondie." Deidara sat down at the head of the large table, the candleholder jumping up onto the surface. "Now…Who could possibly have dinner without some…Entertainment!"

Music began to play in the background. "Wait, un!" Deidara waved his hands. "Please, I'll be your guest; just don't burst out into song! From the town where I come from, it's practically a daily thing, and I'm sick of it, un…"

Hidan blinked at the blonde, giving a shrug. "Well, we had a whole song lined up for you, but if you fucking insist." The music abruptly stopped and the knick knacks which had been eagerly awaiting off-stage (off-table) gave groans of dismay, walking off. "Truthfully, I hate the song. Goes for far too long and hurts my throat."

"…Yes, un." A tray wheeled itself up next to the table, and Konan jumped off balancing a bowl of soup on her lid.

"Here you go sir, French Onion Soup!" Deidara looked at the green soup, raising an eyebrow. "…Okay, we lied, we don't have any onions left, so it's just Pea n' Ham soup…"

"Oh, that's fine; in fact I hate French Onion Soup." Deidara smiled. "Thank you so much. I'm sure the cooking is just as delicious as Sasori's taste in creepy castles." The blonde took the spoon that Kisame offered him, dipping it in the soup. He began to eat, pleased to find that it was indeed delicious.

-x-

"Well, now that you've finished, it is time to go to bed." Itachi handed the empty bowl to Konan, who went with the tray and Kisame back to the kitchen.

Deidara clapped his hands together. "Oh, I couldn't go to bed while my food is still digesting. Could I possibly have a tour, un? I've never been in an enchanted castle before."

"WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU THAT IT WAS ENCHANTED? I mean…Ha ha ha…Enchanted? Ha ha ha…Who said anything about the castle being enchanted?" Hidan pointed accusingly at the clock. "IT WAS _YOU_, WASN'T IT?"

The blonde chuckled. "I guessed, un. Now what about that tour?"

Hidan opened his mouth again, but Itachi quickly silenced him. "I am sorry, but there are certain places which you may not travel."

"Then why don't you take me, Itachi?" Deidara patted the clock on the head. "I'm sure you know EVERYTHING about the castle."

The clock was silent for a few seconds in thought. "…Very well then, right this way."

-x-

All three of them were walking around the castle, Itachi leading the way. "As you can see, the pseudo-façade was stripped away to reveal an inimalist Rococo design. Note the unusual inversed vaulted ceilings. This is yet another example of the late neoclassic Baroque period…And, as I always say, 'if it's not Baroque, don't fix it'… Itachi gave a cough.

"I wonder what's up here, un…" Deidara started up a flight of stairs, but was quickly stopped by Itachi and Hidan.

"Oi Oi Oi! You can't go into the West Wing! It's forbidden!" The candleholder's flames burned brighter in anger.

"…" Deidara looked up the stairs. "So that's the West Wing…?" He gave a smirk. "I want to check it out!"

"Wait," Itachi gave a cough, "wouldn't you rather see the gardens, or even the library?"

Deidara looked down at the clock, joyful expression. "You have a library, un? With books?"

The clock and candleholder looked at each other, and then back at the blonde, nodding vigorously. "Yes! Lots of fucking books!" The candleholder stupidly sung. "Big books, small books, books that climb on rocks! Tough books, sissy books, even books with chicken pox!" Itachi and Hidan began ranting off about books, leading the way down the stairs and down the hallway.

Deidara stopped following them halfway down the steps, turning back. "…I'm curious, so I think I'll just disobey Sasori's wishes on the one place I wasn't allowed to go…Even though I'm allowed to go anywhere else…If anyone were watching me, I bet that they'd think I was insane…" the blonde shrugged and continued up the stairs, wondering what he would find in the secret West Wing.


	4. Part 4

**SasoDei – Beauty and the Beast**

**Part 4**

Deidara looked around as he walked down the cold hallway. There were more stone creatures up here, though a lot of them were broken. He followed the damage, eventually reaching a pair of large doors. "I wonder what's in here, un…" The blonde pushed open the doors with his shoulder, revealing the room beyond. There were so many broken items strewn over the floor that Deidara could barely see the ground. He entered the room, trying his best to walk around the junk. His eyes caught sight of a ripped painting. Deidara frowned at it, running a hand along the fabric. The only thing which remained undamaged was a pair of muddy brown eyes. "Weird, un…" The light on the painting grew as the almost full moon shone in the night sky. Deidara looked over to the large pair of windows, his eyes catching on a soft pink glow beneath. He quickly forgot about the painting, making his way through the room. Beneath the windows sat a silver pedestal. Upon it sat a glass case, which held a beautiful glowing rose inside of it. "Pretty, un…" The blonde made it over to the pedestal, lifting the glass case up from over the flower, and placing it on the floor. He made a move to touch the rose out of curiosity.

Deidara suddenly felt himself get pushed back, hearing a clack as the case was once more placed over the rose. The blonde blinked to see Sasori glaring viciously at him. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?"

Deidara gave a shrug. "I was just curious. Everyone knows not to tell the prisoner where they aren't supposed to go unless they want them to go there." There was a loud crash as the scorpion tail smashed the table next to the blonde. Deidara quickly backed away from the Beast. "Whoa! I was just curious, un! Don't bite my head off."

"GET THE HELL OUT!" Sasori gave a roar. Deidara opened his mouth to respond but the Beast already made a lunge for him. "OUT!"

"Don't have to tell me twice, un!" The blonde quickly ran out the door, hearing an angered roar behind him. Deidara rapidly went down the stairs, making his way to the entrance room.

"Wait! Where the fuck are you going?" Hidan and Itachi were bounding after him, trying to catch up.

Deidara shook his head, continuing to run. "Promise or no promise, I can't stay here, un!" He went down the last pair of stairs and out the front doors of the castle. It was snowing, but the blonde didn't care. "Sai! We're leaving!"

The horse gave a neigh and turned around so the blonde could get on his back. "About time! This place gives me the creeps!" Deidara opened the gates and hopped onto his white horse, the both of them bolting away from the castle.

They had only been running for a minute when Deidara suddenly became aware of the sound of wolves howling and growling far too close for comfort. Sai suddenly halted as a pack of hungry looking wolves appeared from the trees in front of them. "Hey, it's the Horsy again!" One of the beasts laughed while baring its fangs. "I'm Kiba, the leader of this pack." Another one of the wolves made a move forward, but Kiba stopped them. "No Akamaru, I get first bite!"

Deidara shook his head and pulled on the reins, causing Sai to start running to the left. The wolves growled in rage behind them, following fast. The beasts suddenly appeared in front of them again. Sai reeled up onto his back legs, causing Deidara to go flying off of the Horse, landing in the soft snow. His hair band snapped, causing his locks to join the rest of his hair messily. The wolves had forgotten about him for the time being, attacking Sai with teeth and claws.

Deidara grabbed a large stick and whacked one of the wolves on the head before it could get at Sai. The beast quickly recovered and regrouped with the others. There were far too many for the blonde to fight off forever. His eyes widened when he unexpectedly heard a loud familiar roar to his left. The next thing he knew, Sasori was there, attacking the wolves. Deidara watched, horrified, at the bloody bout. Two of the wolves were dead, but the rest were still fighting strong. The blonde watched as they viciously attacked Sasori. One of the wolves suddenly howled out "RETREAT!" The blonde recognised the voice of Kiba. All of the other beasts followed their leader's orders, running off in all directions.

Sasori was left there panting hard. Somewhere in the bout, the bandana had come off from around his mouth, revealing a snout with a set of jaws full of sharp fangs. Blood dripped from his silver teeth, and he was looking straight at Deidara. The blonde was completely terrified by the sight before him. A few seconds passed and suddenly Sasori's legs buckled, causing him to fall into the snow. The Beast blacked out, and Deidara quickly untied Sai's reins from where they had become tangled in a tree branch, about to get back on his horse. He stopped and looked back at Sasori. "What are you doing, Deidara? Get on and let's get out of here!" The horse gave a neigh and the blonde shook his head, running over to the Beast who had saved their lives. With a lot of effort he managed to pull Sasori onto Sai's back, causing the horse to give a strained neigh.

"Be a man, un…" He and Sai exchanged a sheepish expression. "…Right…Sorry, forgot…Be a Stallion, un!" The horse whinnied and Deidara lead the way back to the castle.

-x-

Sasori sat in his chair, licking at the bloody wound on his right arm. Deidara smacked his nose. "Stop doing that, un." The Beast growled at him but gave his arm to the blonde. Deidara dipped a small towel in a basin of warm salt water, bringing it to Sasori's wound. "This might hurt a bit."

He pressed the flannel against the injury, causing the Beast to give a roar, snatching his arm away from the blonde. "THAT HURT!" The inanimate objects ran into hiding in fear of the raging Beast.

Deidara glared at the creature. "If you'd just hold still it wouldn't hurt as much!"

Sasori gave him a scary smirk. "Well, if you hadn't have run away, this wouldn't have happened!"

Deidara scoffed, "Well, if you hadn't have frightened me, then I wouldn't have run away!"

Sasori opened his jaws, and then closed them. He thought for a few seconds, before remembering what he had been going to say. "Well YOU shouldn't have been in the West Wing!"

Deidara glared back at the Beast. "Well you should learn to control your temper!" The blonde gave a sigh, lifting the wet rag up to the wound again. "Now hold still." He patted the wound, beginning to clean it. Sasori gave a growl, but didn't make any voiced complaints. "By the way…Thank you for saving my life, Danna…"

Sasori was taken aback. "…Brat, this is France, not Japan."

Deidara gave a shrug. "I'm sick of French. Japanese honorifics are better, un."

The Beast gave a snort. "Whatever Brat…" They both exchanged an almost gentle look. "…Well, you're welcome." Sasori undid the yellow ribbon from around Deidara's wrist, and tied the blonde a new ponytail with it.

-x-

Sakura and Ino sat at a table in the pub. It was after closing, so the place was dark and empty…Well, almost. Across from them sat a pretty woman with large breasts. "You know that I don't like to leave the asylum late at night…But you said that you would make it worth my while…"

The pinkette smirked and threw the woman a bag of cold coins. "Is this enough, Tsunade?"

The blonde studied one of the coins, and then gave a sly smile. "I'm listening…"

"Well," Sakura gave a cough, "the guy I want to marry needs a bit of persuading…"

Ino gave a laugh, taking a gulp of Sake. "Turned her down flat!" Sakura slapped her hard.

"I can't help with your trouble." Tsunade gave a snort. "I'm not some love guru, I lock people up!"

"That's exactly why you're here!" The pinkette cackled. "Deidara's father is a lunatic! Just earlier tonight he was here RAVING about a Beast!"

Tsunade gave a sigh, downing a flask of Sake. "Onoki is harmless."

"Yeah, but Dei would do anything for the old man! We get the son through his dad, you just pronounce the old boy mad, and whoosh, he's slander in your hand, the Maison Des Lunes!" Ino and Sakura laughed at the song. "She'd do anything to save him."

Ino laughed, slamming her Sake flask on the table and pointing at Sakura. "Even marry her!"

Sakura slapped the girl again, and then turned back to Tsunade. "Do I make myself clear?"

The woman gave a chuckle. "It's the easiest job of my whole career! Alright then." Tsunade finished off the flask of Sake. "It's particularly primeval…I LOVE IT!"

-x-

Onoki gave a cackle, stuffing his bag with random papers. "IF NO ONE'LL HELP ME, THEN I'LL GO SAVE MY RIBBON…And son…MYSELF!" He stormed out the door and started into the woods, missing the carriage that pulled up not half a minute later.

Sakura and Ino marched to the front door, opening it wide. "Onoki! Deidara!" Nothing.

Ino gave a hesitant laugh. "Well, no one's here, guess this plan won't work! Let's go!"

Sakura growled and grabbed onto Ino, slamming her down into a pile of snow. "Stay there until either of them comes back!"

-x-

Deidara was tossing and turning in his sleep, in the middle of a nightmare.

_He gave a gulp as he was backed against a wall. But instead of a monster, he was running from a boy of about the same age as him. The male had red hair and wore a continuous smirk. He pinned the blonde against the wall. Deidara was __scared out of his mind._

_It's just a dream, un…It's just a dream!_

"_Well, Brat. No where to run~"_

"_LET GO OF ME YOU MONSTER!" Deidara tried to pull away, but the boy's grip tightened on him._

"_Monster?" The red head scowled. "Just look at me, Brat. I'm not a monster."_

_Deidara struggled. "On the outside you might not be, but on the inside you're more of a monster than Sasori!"_

The blonde woke up, drenched by a cold clammy sweat. He was panting hard. "Are you alright, Sempai?" Deidara looked over at the wardrobe.

He gave a nod. "Yeah…It was just a bad dream…" Why had that red head seemed so eerily familiar?

Deidara sighed and got up, opening the window. He walked out onto his balcony, leaning against the railing. The moon was full tonight. The blonde could see the village from this point, but just barely. All of the lights were off as the villagers slept. He looked up at the sky as a fresh batch of snow began to fall. Deidara sighed, suddenly feeling a cold chill as if he were being watched…The blonde shook his head and went back into his room to try and get some more sleep.

The red head gave a sigh of relief, stepping out from behind the statue gargoyle where he had hidden on the roof from the blonde. "Not long now…" He looked up at the full moon. "…Is this going to be the last time that I'll be human?" The red head gave a frown, looking down at his pale hands. "If he doesn't fall in love with me, then not even on full moon nights will I be human again…" He gave a sigh and looked to the bandage on his right arm. "…" The red head dropped back down onto the balcony, giving the sleeping blonde a last look through the glass windows. The moonlight shone beautifully on Deidara's perfect skin. His chest slowly rose and fell so soothingly that the red head couldn't help but smile. "…" His smile faded and he looked away in disgust. "Like he would ever love a beast like me…" The red head shook his head and climbed back onto the roof, headed towards his own room once more.


	5. Part 5

**SasoDei – Beauty and the Beast**

**Part 5**

Deidara was in the garden, walking Sai around. "I still don't know why we don't just leave, Dei." The blonde didn't react in anyway, seeming to have dazed off while thinking. Sai gave a snort and nudged Deidara, causing him to come back to reality. The blonde looked around at him and patted the horse's snout.

"I like it here, un." The blonde smiled gently and continued to walk the horse around the snow laden garden.

Sasori watched Deidara from the main balcony. His eyes slid to the bandage on his right arm, and then back at the blonde. "…I've…Never felt this way about anyone before…"

Hidan blinked at the Beast. "What? Hey, you've managed to fall in love with Blondie!" The candleholder chuckled. "I told you that if that was possible, then it is also possible for Blondie to fall for you, Beastie!"

Sasori gave a snort, looking at his two servants. "I don't love him…I just…I want to do something special for him…But what?"

Itachi gave a cough, closing his eyes. "Flowers, chocolates…Promises you don't intend to keep…"

"Oi Oi Oi!" The candleholder moved in front of the clock. "No way! It has to be something fucking special!"

Sasori frowned. "Wait…" He gave a faint smile behind the new bandana. "I have an idea."

-x-

"Close your eyes Brat." Sasori and Deidara stopped in front of a large pair of doors that the blonde hadn't seen before. "I have a surprise."

Deidara frowned suspiciously at the Beast. "Are you going to rape me or something like that?" Sasori gave him an unamused look, and the blonde gave a sigh. "M'kay, eyes are officially closed."

Sasori waved a paw in front of the blonde's face to make sure that he really had them closed. Satisfied by Deidara's lack of reaction he opened the doors, leading the blind blonde into the room. "Keep your eyes closed for a few more seconds." Sasori moved to open up the two large curtains, causing sunlight to stream into the room. "Okay, open." Deidara did as he was told, and gaped as he looked around. He was in a library which was filled with so many books that his heart skipped a beat. The blonde turned in a circle a few times, rubbing his eyes to make sure that he wasn't day dreaming. "Do you like it?"

The blonde turned to Sasori, eyes wide with gratitude. "I LOVE IT, UN!"

The Beast was taken a back, but then gave a happy nod. "Then it's yours." Deidara gave a joyful exclamation, flinging his arms around Sasori. "Ah, please no hugs…" The Beast pushed the blonde away.

Deidara laughed. "Awww, you're shy, un!" The blonde suddenly shuddered. "Hang on…I sense…A song! HIDAN!"

The music stopped. "SORRY! FORGOT!"

-x-

Sasori and Deidara were outside in the snowy garden. The blonde was feeding seed to the birds. He got an idea, putting a pile in the Beast's hands. Sasori frowned at the blonde, who motioned for him to offer the seed to the birds. He crouched down, offering it to the birds. They jumped away from him. Sasori gave a gentle growl and moved forward, again offering it to the birds. Deidara took some of the seed, creating a small trail from the birds to Sasori's paws. A small blue bird ate some of the seeds, and then flew onto the Beast's paws to eat from the pile. Sasori gave a smile and Deidara chuckled gently running off to hide behind a tree. He looked back after a few seconds to see Sasori covered in birds, looking confused. The blonde smirked wide and leaned down, making a snow ball. He jumped out from behind the tree, throwing it at the Beast.

It hit him on the face, causing the birds to fly away. Sasori blinked and looked over at the culprit. "You're going to pay for that, Brat!" The Beast used his scorpion tail to scoop up a large blob of snow, flinging it at Deidara. It hit, causing the blonde to topple over. Deidara got back up, laughing.

"Oh yeah, un? Take this!" Deidara kicked the tree, and then stood smugly. Sasori stared at the blonde, waiting for something to happen.

Nothing. "Is that-" Sasori was suddenly buried under a tonne of snow which had fallen from the tree branches above. Deidara fell onto the snow, rolling around in laughter. The blonde quickly stood, skipped inside still laughing, before Sasori had the chance to get revenge on him.

-x-

Deidara sat down in front of the fireplace, patting the floor, wanting Sasori to sit down next to him. The Beast gave a small snort, but a few seconds later sat beside the blonde. "Sasori…I would like a second chance, un…" Deidara smiled at the Beast. "Would you like to have dinner with me?"

Sasori blinked at the blonde. "…Dinner? With me? Of course, Dei!" The Beast coughed, looking away. "I mean…It's not like I have anything better to do, Brat…"

Deidara laughed. "You're so bashful, un." The blonde leaned against the Beast's warm furry shoulder, opening the book he held. Deidara began to read aloud.

Itachi, Hidan, Kakuzu, Konan and Kisame watched them from the hallway. "Anyone could break the spell any fucking day now!" Hidan cheered, putting an arm around the feather duster. "We'll soon be human again!" Music began to play, but was quickly cut short. "Whoops…Forgot about Blondie's dislike of singing…"

Kakuzu gave a sigh. "Would you please leave me alone already?"

Hidan chuckled seductively. "Why would you want me to do that, Kuzu-Kun?"

The feather duster growled and hit the candle with his handle, using the opportunity to storm off. Hidan sneered. "What the fuck is his problem?"

"Hidan, would you please stop messing around?" The candleholder shrugged and shook his head.

-x-

Sasori sat in a tub, having a bath. The coat hanger known as Zetsu was busily at work washing him. "I hate bathing…"

Zetsu gave a snort. "Well I hate bathing you. So we're all even, aren't we?"

"This water is too cold…"

"Oh don't be a fucking Pussy!" Hidan jumped about and twirled in a circle. "Tonight is the night we've all be waiting for! When the time is right, just tell him how you feel!"

"I don't know…" Sasori gave a sigh, getting out of the bath.

"Oi!" Hidan waved his handles frantically. "Just look!" He pointed at the wilting rose. "You don't have time to be timid!"

The Beast gave a growl. "But what if he doesn't have the same feelings for me as I do for him?"

Hidan gave a sigh. "You think too much. Tonight will go off without a hitch! Just wait and see!"

-x-

Sasori stood on the stairway, waiting for Deidara to come down and join him. He wore a blue tuxedo type outfit, even though he hadn't wanted to. What if the blonde had changed his mind? What if he would be a Beast forever? What if-…His thoughts were silenced when he caught sight of Deidara slowly descending the stairs. Sasori stared at the beautiful figure.

Deidara wore a golden dress which suited his blonde hair perfectly. The Beast looked the boy up and down, his eyes glancing over each perfect feature in turn. Deidara finally reached him, frowning. "I swear, Tobi has more dresses in him that the Library has books, un." The blonde shrugged and then gave a smile, locking arms with Sasori. "You look nice, Danna."

"You look beautiful…Ah…Brat." The Beast looked away, causing Deidara to chuckle as they descended down the last flight of stairs together.

-x-

The pair sat at each end of the elongated table, eating with the soft sound of music in the background (Deidara had specifically told them not to have any singing, so he had nothing to worry about). The blonde finished his soup and stood up, making his way to the other end of the table where Sasori sat. "Danna, would you like to dance with me, un?"

The Beast blinked at him. "No, I ca-"

"DANCE WITH HIM!" Sasori gave a sigh and a nod, standing up. They linked arms again as they walked to the ballroom. Konan was about to start singing when Deidara shot her a look, making her shut up.

The blonde and the Beast stopped in the middle of the dance floor. Deidara took Sasori's left paw in his right hand, and rested the Beast's other paw around his waist. The blonde smirked up at Sasori, sliding the Beast's paw further down. Sasori realised the blonde's intentions and snatched his hand away. Deidara chuckled, taking hold of Sasori's paw once more. "Relax, Danna, I'm only joking." Sasori rolled his eyes and placed his paw around the blonde's waist again, keeping it there this time. They both began to glide and spin around the dance floor slowly. Sasori was a little worried at first, but quickly got the hang of it. They danced around the room without a care in the world. The pair looked deep into each others eyes as they spun, seeming to be completely hypnotized. The moment was ruined when Deidara suddenly tripped over the hem of his dress, falling face flat onto the floor. Sasori quickly helped he blonde back onto his feet. "I'm alright, un." The blonde grinned at the Beast, and both laughed in amusement. "I think I've had enough dancing for one night."

-x-

Sasori and Deidara sat out of the main balcony, looking up at the winking stars. "Deidara…" The blonde looked at the Beast, who scooted closer to him. "You…Like it here, right?"

Deidara blinked at him, and then smiled. "Yes, it's beautiful, un." The blonde looked back at the dark forest and stars, a sad expression.

Sasori noticed this and gave a frown. "What's wrong?"

"…It's just…" A soft smile rose on Deidara's lips. "I would like to see my father just one more time…To make sure he's alright…"

The Beast nodded solemnly, but then suddenly brightened up. "I know." He got to his feet, offering a paw for Deidara to take. "I have a surprise. Come on, it's in the West Wing." They held hands like teenage sweethearts as they walked.

"But I thought I wasn't allowed in the West Wing, un." The blonde gave Sasori a sly smirk.

"Since when have you obeyed my rules before?" Deidara shrugged and laughed, continuing to walk.

-x-

"Here," Sasori held an object out to the blonde, "it's a Magic Mirror. It will allow you to see anything you want."

"Oh that's perfect!" Deidara took the object and held it up. "Show me my father…Please, un." The surface buzzed and then showed Onoki, travelling through the woods. He gave a spluttering cough and collapsed. Deidara's eyes widened. "He's sick!" The blonde looked around frantically, hopping from foot to foot. "I need to save him!"

"…You're free to go…" Deidara stopped panicking and stared at Sasori.

"…What?" Sasori gave a sigh.

"You're no longer my Prisoner…" Deidara frowned and held the mirror back out to the Beast, but he simply pushed it back. "Keep it…" Sasori ran a paw through Deidara's golden locks. "So you can look back here anytime you want…And remember…"

"Thank you so much for understanding, Danna…" The blonde put a hand against Sasori's face, stroking him gently and almost tenderly. "…Thank you, un…" Deidara turned and hurried out the room to get changed.

Sasori turned back, resting his paws on the pedestal as he watched the withering rose. The door suddenly reopened, though Sasori could tell who it was.

"This is fucking perfect! The curse will be broken any minute now!" Hidan laughed. "Didn't think you had it in ya, Beastie! Where is Blondie then?"

"…I let him go…" The Beast didn't look back as he spoke, simply watching as another petal fell from his rose.

"Ha ha ha, yeah I gotta s- Wait…WHAT?" Hidan stared at him in shock. "B-B-B-But WHY? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LET HIM LEAVE _AFTER_ HE BROKE THE SPELL! THEN YOU COULD GO FIND A GIRL TO BE WITH RATHER THAN A GUY!"

"…I wouldn't have wanted to find a girl…" The Beast straightened up and moved to the window.

"Huh? WHY THE FUCK NOT?"

Sasori watched as Deidara hopped onto the white horse, bolting out of the large iron gates which belonged to his domain. The Beast rested a paw against the cold glass, giving a sad and lost expression. "Because…I love him…"


	6. Part Six

**SasoDei – Beauty and the Beast**

**Part Six**

"He WHAT?" Itachi, Konan, Kisame, and Kakuzu were staring at Hidan as if he were insane.

Hidan nodded vigorously. "Indeed! And he was so CLOSE!" He gave a sniffle.

Konan gave a sad sigh. "Poor Sasori, after all this time he finally learnt how to love…" They all nodded in gloom. "Hey…Wait a second…Where's Kisame?"

-x-

Deidara and Sai were racing through the forest, searching for Onoki. "Dad! Dad! I know that you've passed out, but I'm somewhat hopeful that you will answer me!" …

"Are you insane?" Sai gave him an odd look, which the blonde only shrugged at. It was difficult to see, considering that it was a new moon, but the blonde's eyes were adjusted to the dark by now.

"Huh?" Deidara's eyes caught onto a collapsed figure. "Dad!" He jumped off of the white horse, running towards the unconscious Onoki.

-x-

"Ngh…" The old man's eyes opened to see Deidara smiling at him gently. "Deidara?"

"Hey Dad, how are you feeling?" Onoki sat up, pulling the wet rag from his forehead.

"I'm alright…Wait…Deidara!" The man gave a joyful expression, bringing the blonde into a bone crushing hug. "OH, BY JOY! YOU ESCAPED FROM THAT BEAST!"

Deidara coughed, prying his father's arms from around him. "He isn't a Beast…He's…He's changed, un…"

Onoki gave a loud cackle. "Changed? Oh you sound just like your mother!" He laughed again, giving a sigh at the end. "Good to have ya back, son…I hope you don't hold it against me for kinda trading places with you…" Onoki blinked at Deidara. "HEY! MY HAIR RIBBON! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT IT BACK FOR ME! YOU'RE THE BEST SON EVER!" The old man grabbed it, pulling it from the blonde's hair. Deidara's locks once more fell down.

He gave a sigh. "Yeah you're all right…"

"HEY! GIVE THAT BACK TO DEIDARA!" The blonde looked to see a familiar cup jump out of his bag. Kisame.

The old man glared at it while tying the ribbon back in his own hair. "Make me, ya little whippersnapper!"

Deidara quickly picked up the teacup. "Now, now, now, no fighting." The blonde was disrupted when he heard a knock at the door. He sighed and placed Kisame back down, going to answer it.

He opened the wooden door, surprised to see a woman that he didn't know standing there. She had murky blonde hair, a large set of breasts, and a smirk. The grin fell suddenly after she saw Deidara. "Huh? Sorry Miss, but does a boy named Deidara live here?"

The blonde gave a sigh. "I'm Deidara."

The lady gave him an unamused expression. "I'm sorry; I can't take you serious with your hair like that." She handed the blonde a new hair band. Deidara sighed, retying his normal messy ponytail. "…Good enough. Now, my name is Tsunade from the Maison Des Lunes. I'm here to take your father away."

Deidara shrugged. "Okay, un, guess it can't be helped. Go ahe-" He was cut off when Sakura suddenly appeared next to him.

"You know, Dei, I could do something about this…" She grinned at him. "All you'd have to do is marry me."

Deidara scoffed. "No thanks, you can have my dad inst-" The blonde fel Onoki place his hand threateningly on his shoulder. "…I mean…My father isn't crazy!"

Sakura sneered. "Oh yeah? Onoki, why don't you tell us about the _Beast_!"

Onoki let go of the blonde, running onto the porch. "IT WAS HUGE! WITH RAZOR SHARP FANGS! THE THING WAS THE SIZE OF A MOUNTAIN!" The villagers which had appeared with the commotion began to laugh and mock him.

"Wait!" Deidara stepped forward. "I can prove that there a Beast!" The blonde pulled out the Magic Mirror, whispering to it gently. He spun it around, showing it to everyone else. The figure of Sasori filled the image, giving a loud roar. Everyone gasped in terror except for Sakura.

One of the women stepped forward. "I-Is it dangerous?"

Deidara shook his head franticly. "No! He's kind, and gentle, and…"

Sakura snorted. "If I didn't know better, I would think that you had feelings for that Monster!" She snatched the mirror from the blonde. "The Beast will make off with your children! He'll make off with them in the night! Forget about the old man, I say we kill the Beast!"

The villagers began to start a song. "We're not safe until he's dead; he'll come stalking us at night, set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite! He'll wreak havoc on our village if we let him wander free!"

Sakura lit a torch and jumped up onto the back of a black horse. "So it's time to take some action, boys, it's time to follow me!" They all grabbed pitchforks, spades and flaming torches. "Through the mist, through the woods, through the darkness and the shadows! It's a nightmare but it's one exciting ride! Say a prayer, then we're there, at the drawbridge of a castle, and there's something truly terrible inside~ It's a Beast! He's got fangs, razor sharp ones! Massive paws, killer claws for the feast! Hear him roar, see him foam, but we're not coming home til he's dead- Good and Dead! KILL THE BEAST!"

Deidara groaned. "Not ANOTHER song, un! I mean…I WON'T LET YOU DO THIS!"

Sakura cackled loudly. "TRY AND STOP US!" Several of the villagers pushed the blonde and Onoki into the cellar, locking the doors behind them.

Deidara sighed. "Why? Why must they always break out into song when I'm around?" He gave a sigh. "This is all my fault, I have to go back and warn him!"

Onoki snorted. "You do that! I'm sick off all this. Send me a letter at least once a month after your happy ending and I'll be content."

"But how are we going to get out of here, un? It's not like-" The door suddenly smashed open. There was a loud explosion and everything turned dusty. Deidara coughed, and waited for the dust to settle. Onoki's rock crushing machine had smashed open the door. Kisame jumped onto Deidara's head, grinning widely. "…" The blonde suddenly flung his arms in the air, giving a cheer. "ART IS A BANG, UN!" There was silence at his outburst. "…Okay, I'm going already, come on Kisame."

-x-

Sakura cackled. "We'll rid the village of this Beast, who's with me?" The mob cheered, and continued to sing.

"Light your torch, mount your horse!"

The pinkette continued in the lead "Then make a Shakespeare reference!"

"We're counting on this weirdo to lead the way! Through the mist, through the wood, where within a haunted castle something's lurking that you don't see every day! It's a Beast! A Beast! We don't like what we don't understand, in fact it scares us, and this monster is mysterious at least! Bring your guns; bring your knives, save your children and your wives! We'll save our village and our lives, we'll kill the Beast!"

Sakura turned around, barking orders at the followers. "Cut down a tree, and make it a bloody big one! Grab whatever booty you can find, but remember, the Beast is MINE! CHA!"

The crowed cheered. "Hearts ablaze, banners high; we go marching into battle, unafraid although the danger just increased. Raise the flag, sing the song! Here we come, we're fifty strong, and fifty Frenchmen can't be wrong! LET'S KILL THE BEAST! KILL THE BEAST! KILL THE BEAST! KILL THE BEAST!"

-x-

"Damn, and we were so fucking close!" Hidan gave an exasperated sigh.

"We shouldn't have given our hopes up." Itachi gave a shrug. "Maybe it would have been better if Deidara hadn't had come at all."

"I hear something! Maybe it's him!" Konan jumped over to the window, looking out. She gave a loud gasp. Hidan and Itachi quickly made their way next to her to see what she was looking at.

"FUCKING INVADERS!"

Itachi gave a sigh. "Konan, you go tell Sire about these recent events. Hidan, go round up as many of us as you are able in the time given. We need to prepare for-" The clock looked around to see that his two friends had already disappeared. "…War."

-x-

"SASORI!" Konan bounded into the Beast's room, where he had been since the blonde left, watching the petals of his dying rose fall soundlessly. "THERE ARE INVADERS! WHAT SHOULD WE DO?"

Sasori didn't even look back at his old friend as he sadly watched his wilting flower. "…Nothing…Just let them come…"

Konan gave a cry, quickly disappearing back out the door to join in the fight.

-x-

The servants of the castle were currently trying to stop the door from getting shoved open. "THIS ISN'T FUCKING WORKING!" Hidan frowned, and then gave an exclamation. "OI! I'VE GOT IT!"

-x-

The door finally flung open, causing the villagers to give a cheer. They cautiously walked inside, Sakura first and Ino second. The blonde girl gulped as she looked around at the still objects. "…Sakura, this place gives me the CREEPS! I wanna go home!"

The pinkette slapped the girl. "Shut up!" She picked up a silver candlestick holder.

Much to her shock, the object suddenly screamed "CHARGE!"

Before all of their eyes, the knick knacks and items burst into life. Sakura threw the candleholder quickly, but a few seconds after hitting the floor it quickly stood back up to fight along side its friends. The pinkette quickly ran up the stairs without being noticed.

The villagers began to fight with the objects, easily getting beaten. Zetsu was beating up two people at once, Konan was pouring boiling tea on several people, Hidan was setting people on fire, Itachi had disappeared and Kakuzu was whacking men in the head with his handle. There was a loud cry as Tobi appeared at the top of the stairs. "TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" He jumped down and landed on several people.

A man suddenly had Hidan backed against a wall, holding a burning torch at the candlestick holder. His wax candles were beginning to melt with the extreme heat and Hidan didn't know what to do. Itachi appeared at the top of the stairs, spinning a pair of scissors in his handles. "No one ever listens to me…" He slid down the staircase railing, launching himself at the man threatening his friend. He pointed the scissors forwards, jamming them into the male's backside. He screeched in pain, letting the torch fly from his hand, running off home. Itachi clapped his hands together. "Why thank you, Itachi, what a valiant act. Oh that is just fine, Hidan, no need to thank me. Well-"

"Seriously Itachi, quit fucking talking to yourself and get fighting!" The candlestick holder quickly bounded off.

The clock gave a sigh of annoyance. "You're welcome, Hidan." He went off to go look for a new weapon.

Konan smiled down at Ino from the shelf where she had positioned her self. "You look like you could use some tea!"

Ino blinked at the pot. "Tea?" She smiled widely. "Why thaaaaank YOU!"

"Here you go!" Konan tipped forward, unleashing a load of boiling tea onto the blonde girl. "TAKE THAT YOU SCURVY SCUM!" Ino screamed and began to run in circles aimlessly.

Kakuzu was currently having the feathers pulled out of him by some over grown dolt. It was Hidan's turn to save the day this time! He positioned himself at the man's rear, and concentrated. The flame on his head burst into a huge fire, burning the poor man. He cried, releasing Kakuzu and flying into the air. Hidan caught the feather duster, giving him a charming smile. "Ahem, I think a Hero deserves a kiss~"

Kakuzu whacked the candlestick with his handle, escaping his grip. "I didn't need rescuing." He marched off to rejoin in the bout. Hidan cursed under his breath and continuing in the fight as well.

-x-

Sakura was searching through each door for the Beast. If she couldn't have Deidara, then like hell she'd let some monster have him!

Eventually the pinkette kicked open a pair of strong double doors, revealing a messy room. Her eyes caught onto the large, towering figure which had its back turned to her. She raised her bow, arrow aimed at the Thing. It turned its head around to look at her sadly, but then looked away once more.

Sakura growled and released the string. The arrow shot forward, digging into the Beast's shoulder. It gave a loud roar in pain, its bandana flying off from around its mouth. A jaw full of sharp silver teeth was revealed from beneath. Sakura gave a wide smirk, running forward into the room. She kicked the Beast through the window. It rolled upon a protrusion of stone. The pinkette followed it out into the now pouring rain.

The Beast didn't make a move to fight back, seeming to have given up. "What's wrong, Beast?" Sakura laughed. "Too kind and gentle to fight back? STAND UP!" She ditched the bow, grabbing onto a long outstretched gargoyle neck. She wrenched it from the wall, smirking sinisterly at the monster.

"SASORI!" The Beast's eyes widened and he looked to the castle entrance. Deidara stood there on the back of his white horse.

"BRAT- I mean, DEI!" Sasori brightened up. He had come back!

"HANG ON!" The blonde flicked on the reins. "HURRY, SAI!" The horse whinnied and bolted towards the large entrance.

Sasori turned to Sakura as she brought the stone gargoyle down to hit him. He grabbed onto it, wrestling with the surprisingly strong girl. They both lost balance, falling off of the protrusion. They slid down a roof, onto a long ledge. Sasori quickly hid amongst the statues. The pinkette cackled insanely. "Were you in LOVE? You thought that Dei would actually choose a monster like YOU, when he had someone like _me_ the entire time?" She unknowingly walked pass Sasori.

The Beast gave a roar, lunging at the girl. She quickly slammed the stone weapon against him, causing Sasori to go back a few metres. "TIME TO DIE- Oh wait, they changed the line…Ahem…DEI IS MINE!" Sakura lifted up the gargoyle neck again, ready to bring it down in a deadly strike.


	7. Part VII

**SasoDei – Beauty and the Beast**

**Part VII**

As the pinkette brought down the stone weapon, Sasori grabbed onto it. They began to wrestle for the weapon. "Hey…I just remembered, I have a tail…" His scorpion tail wrapped around the girl, pulling her away from him. The stone gargoyle neck fell uselessly to the ground. Sasori smirked, holding the pinkette over the edge of the ledge, prepared to drop her to her demise.

"P-Please don't kill me!" She stared at the Beast, petrified. "I'll do whatever you want!" Sasori growled and was about to let go of her, but stopped…If he dropped the pinkette, then he would be no better that her. No less than a week ago, he would have dropped her without thinking twice…Barely once, actually… But Deidara had changed him…He snorted and flung the girl back onto the ledge.

He lifted her head up by the hair, growling at her. "Leave, and never come back here again!" The girl nodded vigorously and he let her hair go.

"Danna!" The Beast looked up to see Deidara standing on the main balcony.

"Brat!" Sasori smiled in shock, climbing up the roofing to his love. The blonde held out a hand for the Beast, which Sasori took with his paw. "I mean…Dei!" He moved his paw to play with the boy's blonde locks. "You came back…"

Deidara smiled at him gently and tenderly. "Of course I came back, un…Look out!"

Sasori 's eyes widened and he gave a roar as he felt something sharp dig into his side. There was a cackle of success as Sakura pulled her dagger from his flesh. Sasori's tail instinctively flung at her, slamming into the girl. She screamed as she went flying...Well, falling, into the deep abyss below.

Deidara quickly helped pull Sasori onto the balcony, looking at the wound with wide eyes. Blood was pooling around the Beast's side. "…Sasori, I'll try to stop the bleeding, and-"

"No…" Sasori gave a gentle smile. "Maybe it's better this way…"

Deidara frowned, lying down on the Beast's large chest. "Don't say things like that…I'm here now…Everything will be okay, un…"

"At least I got to see you…one last time, before…" The sky gave a burst of thunder as his eyes slipped shut.

Deidara stared wide-eyed, a single tear falling onto Sasori's chest. "…Please don't leave me…" The blonde rested his head against the Beast's fur. "…I…I love you, Danna…"

The last petal of the enchanted rose fell from the flower, descending onto the silver surface of the pedestal. Itachi, Hidan and Konan looked at it sadly as their last hopes of returning to normal dwindled away.

There was a gentle sound, similar to breaking glass, close to Sasori and Deidara. The blonde looked up in curiosity. Another beam of pink light fell down to earth, giving the same sound as the last. Deidara looked around to see that there were more flying down from the moonless night sky.

A bright light shone underneath him, and the blonde quickly got off of Sasori as the Beast floated into the air. His black cape wrapped around him and he slowly turned. Deidara stared as the bright light surrounding the Beast grew more intense. He soon had to squint just to see the silhouette of his love.

Deidara closed his eyes, lest he go blind from the brightness. He felt the warm of the light dance across his skin. It felt kind of…Odd…

The light suddenly disappeared in one short burst. Deidara opened his eyes to see a different figure, about half the size of Sasori, lay there. It gave a groan and sat up, rubbing its eyes as if awoken from some deep sleep. The figure was clearly male, and had shaggy red hair. Deidara recognised the male from his nightmare. The boy stood up, stretching his arms. He looked about the same age as Deidara, perhaps a little older?

The red head caught sight of the blonde, and gave a smile. "Deidara! We broke the spell!" He walked over to the blonde, surprised when Deidara took a step away. "Huh? What's wrong? It's me, Dei…Sasori…"

"Y-You're the boy from my nightmare…" The blonde gulped, taking another step back.

The red head frowned. "Dei…That was a dream…I swear that I'm Sasori."

The blonde cautiously looked into the male's dark brown eyes. "…" He gave a gasp. "It IS you, un!" Deidara flung his arms around Sasori's neck, holding him tightly.

The red head smiled gently, wrapping his arms around the blonde's waist. He pulled the pair away slightly and then pressed his lips to Deidara's. The blonde eagerly kissed back, opening his mouth for the red head. Sasori slipped his tongue into the blonde's orifice, running it against Deidara's. The blonde gasped slightly, pressing their bodies even tighter together. He moved his tongue and lips against the red head's, not wanting the kiss to end. A firework shot up into the air, bursting brilliantly.

More sparkles began to rain down upon the castle. The floors and buildings of the palace were consumed with light, melting away to show the truly beautiful castle from beneath the hideous stone creatures.

Hidan gave an exasperated curse as the light consumed him in a whirlwind of shine. It disappeared, revealing a strong man with silver, slicked back hair. He looked down at his old body, giving a grin. "FUCK YEAH!"

The light also spun around Konan and Itachi, turning them back into humans. The pot was now a pretty girl with dark blue locks. In her hair sat an origami rose, which could possibly be mistaken for a lid. Itachi was now a man with long raven black hair. He still wore a stoic expression and there were lines under his eyes, which looked somewhat similar to the hands of a clock face. Konan gave a cheer. "YAY! HUMAN AGAIN! I CAN'T WAIT TO-" the girl blinked as her eyes caught onto the two lovers. They were still locked in a passionate kiss, their hands roaming each other, caressing, groping, and sliding. A line of blood trickled down her nose at the sight.

"Come on Konan and Hidan," Itachi gave a yawn, "let's leave these two alone. I'm sure that they have some important matters to talk about…" the raven looked around to see that Hidan and Konan had already gone. He gave a sigh. "Some things just never change…" Itachi turned and walked out of the room.

Sasori and Deidara were forced to pull apart by the need of oxygen. The blonde gave a moan, nuzzling his face in the crook of the red head's neck. "Oh god, Danna, un~"

Sasori nibbled at his ear gently. "So what happened in this nightmare?"

Deidara's body stiffened. "…You…" The blonde slowly shook his head, unable to form the words.

The red head gave a gentle smile, pulling Deidara's face from his neck so their eyes met. "Do you want me to prove how gentle I actually am?" The blonde gulped, but then gave a seductive smile and a nod. Sasori smirked back, lifting his love up bridal style. He carried him back into his bedroom.

It was no longer a mess like before. Now it was completely spotless, and everything was shiny. Deidara looked over to the pedestal, eyeing the dead flower. "…Your rose, un…"

"It's alright. I have a new rose now…that I just can't wait to deflower." He smirked once more at the blonde, who smirked back with a lusty look. Sasori chuckled gently, placing Deidara down on the rich violet covers of his large bed. He crawled over the blonde, locking their lips once more in a feverish kiss.

-x-

Konan was out the front of the castle, trying to think. If everyone was human again, then that also meant that- "KONAN!" The girl blinked and looked up, surprised when someone suddenly fell into her arms. The person was soaking wet, and gave a sneeze. "Thanks, Konan." The bluenette placed the person down, shocked to see who it was.

"PEIN!" she flung her arms around her old boyfriend, kissing him repeatedly. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN TEN YEARS!"

The orange haired boy gave another sneeze. "When I changed, I became that giant stone gargoyle on the top of the castle. I couldn't move an inch. It's freezing up there in the weather; I'm surprised that I didn't die from pneumonia." He gave a sigh.

Konan smiled at him gently. "Come on in; let's get you warmed up by the fire."

-x-

"Kisame?" Itachi blinked at the male who was human once more. The taller male had slightly blue skin and blue hair. He gave the Uchiha a kind smile, brining his old friend into a hug.

"Heh heh, I'm taller than you again, Itachi-San~" Kisame chuckled, ruffling the raven's hair.

A boy was running around the castle hyperactively. He had short hair and was wearing a bright orange mask, though everyone knew who he was. "TOBI IS A…" the boy clapped in amusement. "TOBI IS A GOOD WARDROBE!" Everyone in a nearby proximity sweat-dropped.

A boy with dark green hair gave a chuckle. "Yep," Zetsu gave a smirk at his friend, "Tobi is a Good Wardrobe."

A large figure with dark brown hair gave a sigh. "Well, at least I'm not some prissy feather duster anymore." Kakuzu ran a hand through his hair in relief.

All of the servants wore an identical black robe which was patterned with red and white clouds.

-x-

Sasori and Deidara pulled away from the kiss, panting from lack of air. The blonde's hands moved to the cloak that Sasori wore, undoing the clasp for it. The red head helped remove the article of clothing, kissing the blonde's neck gently. His fingers slid under Deidara's torso, taking hold of the blonde's zipper. He pulled it down as far as it would go, pulling the blue dress from the blonde. The red head managed to remove the clothing, dropping it carelessly on the floor. "It's cold, un…" Sasori rolled his eyes jokingly, pulling the covers from underneath the blonde and then over the top of them.

"Better?" Deidara smiled and gave a nod, pressing his lips to Sasori's once more. His hands tugged at the red head's blue shirt, pulling it off of the prince. Sasori chuckled gently as he pulled off his own tattered pants, revealing that he wasn't wearing boxers or anything beneath. This was acceptable, considering he had been a beast for the past ten years. His mouth slipped to the pink bud which was Deidara's right nipple, teasing it with tongue and teeth. The blonde gave a gentle grunt and a gasp, hands exploring the smooth skin of Sasori's back. The feeling of the perfect smoothness under his fingertips, and the course blankets brushing over the tops of his hands was an odd sensation.

"Danna~" Sasori lapped at the nipple, and then ran his tongue up to the blonde's neck. He nipped and sucked at certain pleasure spots, claiming the blonde as his own. "Please stop teasing, un~"

"It depends, are you still scared of me?" Deidara frantically shook his head, panting gently. "Good then." His hands slipped to the blonde's underwear (a pair of linen shorts), pulling them down from around his waist. He moved his head down, kissing each inch of newly revealed skin. Sasori grew somewhat impatient with himself and ended up just pulling the shorts off of the blonde, moving his tongue to Deidara's length. The blonde gasped, arching his back slightly.

"I thought you- Ah-agreed to s-stop teasing me-AH~" Deidara moaned loudly, bucking his hips in pleasure. "Please, un~"

Sasori smirked, pulling away from the blonde's manhood. He moved back up to Deidara's face, kissing him gently. "Okay then, babe."

The blonde snorted. "Babe? Personally, I'd rather Brat."

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Fine then, Brat." He chuckled, gently kissing the blonde once more. "You're so cute when you're annoyed."

"I wish I could say the same thing about you, un. But you're always annoyed so I don't know what you look like when you aren't." Deidara smirked up at him challengingly.

"…" Sasori brought three fingers to the blonde's mouth. "Suck before you really tick me off." Deidara took them into his orifice, running his tongue along the digits. He sucked on the fingers, closing his eyes in concentration. Sasori pulled his fingers from the blonde's mouth, kissing the succulent lips tenderly instead. His digits moved down to Deidara's heat, circling and prodding at the entrance. His love gave a quiet moan, bucking his hips faintly in need. Sasori laughed, pressing a finger into the blonde. "Patience, Love." He pushed his digit in deeper, kissing Deidara a few more times.

"Danna~" The blonde was panting gently, giving a moan as Sasori's finger brushed against something inside of him. "Ah~" Deidara felt the red head enter a second finger, brushing against the pleasure spot again. "Fuck, un~" He arched his back, pressing his chest against Sasori's.

The red head chuckled softly in amusement, nibbling at the blonde's neck once more as he continued to stretch his love. He slipped his third finger in to join the other two, surprised that the blonde didn't show the slightest hint that he was in pain. Surprised and happy.

Sasori pulled his fingers from the blonde's entrance, pressing their lips together once more. He positioned his own shaft at Deidara's entrance, pulling their lips apart. "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be, un." The blonde pressed their lips together again. Sasori kissed back as he slowly pushed his member inside of his love. Deidara cringed ever so slightly but made no voiced complaints, trusting the red head fully. He felt Sasori stop moving, and he guessed that the red head was fully sheathed inside of him.

Sasori chuckled gently, licking the outer shell of the blonde's ear. "Well, Dei? How does it feel? My huge cock deep inside of you?" His voice dropped to a harsh, seductive, whisper. "I bet you love it. Don't you, Brat?" Deidara moaned at the dirty talk.

"Danna~ M-Move un~" Sasori chuckled gently, placing an affectionate kiss underneath the blonde's jaw-line. He pulled his hips back and then pushed them forward once more. Deidara gave a gasp. "H-Harder…" Sasori gave a nod and pulled his length mostly out of the blonde again He gave his hips a good thrust forward into his loves body, wanting to hit that spot which Deidara had reacted to so highly before. Sasori tried to remember where to find the pleasure spot, though before he could, the blonde gave a loud moan…Well, he found it and that is all that mattered. He pulled mostly out and then gave another thrust in the same direction. The blonde moaned, grabbing hold of Sasori's warm shoulders. "Gah~ Danna~" Deidara threw his head back as the red head rammed into the pleasure spot once more.

Sasori muffled a groan. He was getting pretty close, and the blonde was only getting tighter around his length. But he didn't let up on his continual thrusts inside of Deidara's body, speeding up his movements. Sasori was thrusting as hard as he dared, not wanting to accidentally hurt the blonde.

He was still going pretty hard and fast. Deidara's moans had doubled in volume and he couldn't last much longer. Sasori pressed their lips together in a passionate kiss as he gave one last hard thrust. He swallowed up the blonde's cries of pleasure as they both reached their climaxes. Sasori filled Deidara up to the brim with his cum, and the blonde released over their chests. The red head collapsed on top of Deidara in exhaustion, both of them panting hard for air. A few minutes passed, filled only with their slowly decreasing bliss. Eventually, Sasori pulled out of the blonde, kissing him gently. Deidara gave a yawn and rolled onto his side. "Wow, un…"

The red head wrapped an arm around the blonde's waist, pressing his chest against the blonde's back. "How was that, Brat?" He nuzzled the blonde's hair gently, closing his eyes.

"Amazing~ and I'm not even being sarcastic this time!" Deidara laughed and pressed his back against the red head, but then decided to roll over instead. He nuzzled his face into the crook of the prince's neck, wrapping an arm around the red head and closing his eyes. The two were perfectly content just lying there spooning. "I love you, un."

Sasori smiled gently, kissing the blonde tenderly on the top of the head. "I love you too, Brat. Just promise me that you won't ever run away again, it's getting pretty annoying."

Deidara chuckled softly. "I won't…" He gave a quiet yawn, pulling the covers up a little more. "I won't."

The villagers forgot about the castle on the hill, Deidara sent his father letters once a month, all of Sasori's servants were human once more and the spell was finally broken. Sasori and Deidara were wed, and everyone lived happily ever after…Except those who were killed during the invasion of the castle…

**The End**


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